Reality.....

My best friend Heather had to fly to Florida yesterday. Her Aunt Gloria has been battling breast cancer….and well, she is now in hospice care. It has hit me hard because 1. I cannot be there for my best friend and 2. What if that happens to me…..
Breast Cancer is no joke…..It sneaks up on you and then BAM turns your fuckin life upside down. Excuse my cussin ( I know Im suppossed be a good christian, but Im seriously pissed!) My best friends heart is breaking right now because of the horrid disease…and there is nothing I can do for her…. And I know she loves me with all her heart….so Is what she is watching right now giving her more anxiety and panic about me? Im sure it does…why…because thats how she is. When she loves someone, she loves them with every ounce of her being. The same goes for her mom (my soul moma). I feel like shit…because I must confess….I have not seen my Oncologist for my follow up. It was scheduled for early December (I had to cancel due to my operation) but I had no plans of rescheduling any time soon. I was in a mindset that I really didnt want to deal with it anymore….I needed a break….but what is going on with Gloria woke my ass up. Cancer does not take a break…so neither can I. I have to stay focused and on top of things…so I called and I go in next week. My biggest fear….that eventually they say Im no longer in remission (or N.E.D.) but I cant run from it no matter how scared I get……and so…I quote my most wonderful best friend, Heather, when I shout out

“Cancer……F YOU!”