For so long now I have been angry, distressed, depressed and unsure of what my life has become. Im tired. Im tired of feeling this way. Im tired of feeling like I dont belong in this town and I dont fit in. Maybe, Im not suppossed to. I used to have a big beautiful house and a newer car. I owned my own business and money wasnt so tight......but none of that matters now. Ive come to realize that all those things did not make me who I am. To have suffered at the hands of physical, emotional, sexual abuse and rape (all at a young age)..... and still be standing....thats part of who I am. Getting Cancer and continuing to fight it.....thats part of who I am. Having to close my business to fight this disease....leaving behind that fancy house and car....yet still being able to provide a loving home for my children....thats a part of who I am. To share in the loss of my husbands parents.....holding on to their memories and all they taught me.....thats a part of who I am. To have so many obstacles and hurdles in my marriage....yet still be together 18 years later....thats a part of who I am. To be able to walk another day....thats part of who I am. Having God in my life.....the biggest part of who I am.
I cant say that I will no longer have days were I may feel lost and alone....but when I do....I will come back to this post and be reminded of just who I am.
A wife, a mother, a fighter and a survivor..... A woman who now realizes that God loves me and has not only walked with me through all of this.....but he has carried me through it.
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