In a daze....

I've been walking around here for the past few days in a daze.  Walking around with that punched in the gut, broken hearted feeling all over me.  Once again, I feel like the rug has been pulled out from underneath me......  I'm not sure how to deal with it.  I've been praying. Praying for this feeling to go away.  Praying for him to stop breaking my heart.  Praying that at some point I will be enough for him.....  This repetative cycle of betrayal is draining me. It's draining all of me....all that I wanted to be....  I'm not sure if I have any fight left in me.  Constantly fighting for my marriage, for love, for my life.  Fighting lies, deceit, pain, cancer. When can I stop fighting....when can I just BE?