My best friend Heather had to fly to Florida yesterday. Her Aunt Gloria has been battling breast cancer….and well, she is now in hospice care. It has hit me hard because 1. I cannot be there for my best friend and 2. What if that happens to me…..
Breast Cancer is no joke…..It sneaks up on you and then BAM turns your fuckin life upside down. Excuse my cussin ( I know Im suppossed be a good christian, but Im seriously pissed!) My best friends heart is breaking right now because of the horrid disease…and there is nothing I can do for her…. And I know she loves me with all her heart….so Is what she is watching right now giving her more anxiety and panic about me? Im sure it does…why…because thats how she is. When she loves someone, she loves them with every ounce of her being. The same goes for her mom (my soul moma). I feel like shit…because I must confess….I have not seen my Oncologist for my follow up. It was scheduled for early December (I had to cancel due to my operation) but I had no plans of rescheduling any time soon. I was in a mindset that I really didnt want to deal with it anymore….I needed a break….but what is going on with Gloria woke my ass up. Cancer does not take a break…so neither can I. I have to stay focused and on top of things…so I called and I go in next week. My biggest fear….that eventually they say Im no longer in remission (or N.E.D.) but I cant run from it no matter how scared I get……and so…I quote my most wonderful best friend, Heather, when I shout out
“Cancer……F YOU!”
About Me
- Mystical Mommy
- South Carolina, United States
- My name is Andrea and I am a married mom of 4. My hubby and I have been married for over 18 years and our children are 16, 15, 11 and 8. In 1997 I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. Ive been trying my best to deal with it. Some days are better than others. I was diagnosed 09/11/07 with 2 forms of invasive Breast Cancer (Stage III). I am still battling and surviving! All I can do is take life one day at a time.
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2 comments:
I avoided my Oncologist for nearly two years at one point, and then was reminded (when they called me) that while my Cancer was completely gone, I still needed to be monitored because my risk of new cancer is exremely high.
If I didn't take my life and my health into my own hands, then I had no right to complain, or be mad, or have pity for myself if it came back. Because I tried to avoid the truth. I have control of the disease when I take control of advoating for myself. If I give up, I have lost that control.
You can run but you cannot hide. Look at the appointment as a celebration - the fact that you still have your life to be able to make the appointment.
I agree, Cancer sucks. It took my best friend away from me - my mother. It has wreaked havoc on my entire family. It took away my opportunity to have any more children. It needs to become a thing of the past - a disease that we found a cure for and lost no one else to.
Don't let Cancer win. Don't let it define you. If you do, you may have won the battle, but it will have won the war.
I can tell there is someone really wonderful hiding behind the anger and the fear. You have a right to be angry. To be mad. To hate. To yell and scream and tell Cancer to fuck off!
Just don't let it win. Don't let it become who you are.
Take care, and again, yell, holler, scream and vent in my direction anytime. And then celenbrate the life that you have!
(btw, you asked for a link in your email... my blog is http://owedtojoy.blogspot.com)
I'm sitting here on the floor of the living room at the hospice house, bawling my eyes out. Has this journey with my Aunt G hurt twice as bad because I'm scared to death it could happen to you? Absolutely. I'm scared to friggin death.
You better make that damn appt because I refuse to let this happen to you. It can't.
Gotta scoot. I'll call ya later. Love you!
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